Breaking Social Barriers

We often stop ourselves from connecting with others, because we believe there’s something in the way.

She’s too emotional, she’ll never understand my objectivity.

He’s too prim. He’ll never understand my need to rebel, like all the time.

Whatever it is, we pick out the differences between us.

Change agents fall for it too, even though we see the big picture has us all united for the common good.

She’s works for a non-profit, but the bureaucracy’s too corporate. I could never get along with them.

He’s too withdrawn to empower other people. That’s just not how it’s done.

You might be able to tell – preconceived notions of what “should be” prevent us from opening our hearts and minds to see the gift that each person really is.

It doesn’t matter who you are, you have a story to tell – one that could possibly empower another person, form a deeper connection, and break through a mythical barrier of the mind.

Maybe if we accept that we are each capable of good and bad, of being open and narrow in mind, we can see how truly similar we are to each other.

It seems to me that everyone seeks a meaningful life they would choose to live again and again. It doesn’t matter how different this might look like for everyone, each of us wants to live out our heart’s desire.

I’m notoriously bad at making connections. I could barely say hi to my friends in grade school. Expressing myself honestly was a joke, an idea never to be realized. That is until the pain of being hidden became greater than the pain of open expression. I write this for myself as much as for anyone else.

Limiting beliefs can’t be dispelled overnight, but a shift in focus on what we have in common over what’s different can have a powerful unifying effect.

I choose to meet with anyone that desires to meet with me. I’ve met a lot of amazing people through blogging, and I don’t close myself off to anyone for fear that we’re “different” in some way.

One person I met is Matt Ramos, from 30Vanquish who runs an interesting blog that seeks to break through all social barriers.

I talk about environmentalism.

Matt talks about social anxiety.

But we are each more than what our blogs represent. I learn from Matt, he learns from me. We engage in what I see as a “cultural exchange”. Each of us is a universe of knowledge, beliefs, and feelings. There is an incredible amount to be learned from everyone.

I learn how to be more open from him. He sees that maybe he could befriend a treehugger. Our common ground is the science of psychology.

There are no ulterior motives, only a desire for deeper connections. At least, that’s true for me. I always try to give my best projection.

I’ve attended numerous events in urban agriculture in San Francisco. I could have easily stopped myself from doing this, thinking I wasn’t going to make the “right” connections.

But none of that really matters.

Each time you choose to break free from your comfort zone, you engage more deeply with the world. In turn, the world draws you in.

Claim your authority over the illusory walls of fear.

Break free.

Stop seeing people as different from you.

Shift your focus to the similar.

We are all of the same essence.

And, thankfully, no matter how similar we are in essence, we will never ever ever ever be the same two people.

So you can rest assured your individuality will stay unique, yours alone.

Photo by Jason Hargrove